"If He Had Lost A Leg"

"If he had lost a leg"

Those words came out of my mouth this week as I was talking about my son Reese.

When he was in his wreck in November a bolt from the steering column came through and punctured a hole in his jeans he was wearing. They had to tear his jeans to untangle the bolt that was poking into his leg.

Not that I would have ever wanted his wreck to be worse. But, sometimes I have to wonder if people would better understand, or if they wouldn't ask "When is he going back to school" or "You let him play in a band????" Those questions are always proceeding by a look of disappointment.

If the teenagers wouldn't roll their eyes or snicker when they listen to him talk about his dreams.

I wonder if any of that would happen if something more obviously physical had occurred to him in that wreck. I know that you can't see the damage with your eyes. But, as a momma of an 18 year old son that has a traumatic brain injury, I do. I see everyday what he deals with. I see that he questions himself. I see when the snide remarks and the eye rolls cut like knives. I see it, because I feel it too.

I see when the depression sets in. I see I do not wish depression on anyone.

What I do wish is that compassion could be taught.

I wish that when you call me (or text) and I tell you "I am sorry but, I'm dealing with something serious in my household right now." That you can find it in yourself to understand that it's not you. Never was. Never has been. It's that my every ounce of energy, thought, heart and soul are consumed right now.

I wish that when I say, "My son is in a band." That you see that he thrives in performing. And, right now thriving in life is what I think he needs. And, I am happy that he can do so.

I wish that when you think he should be in school right now, that you knew that what we wish, was for his focus to feel good about himself. And, we know that school can come later.

I said the statement, "If he had lost a leg," that I think peoples judgements, reactions, and comments would not be as derogatory. But, the realization of that is...... you can't teach compassion. You can't teach selflessness. You can't teach tact.

I have to be reminded that All you can do is care for the family God gave you. If friendships diminish, if eyes are rolled, if words are said that cut like knives, it will be okay.

And, be thankful he didn't lose a leg. Or worse, his life.

love