It Ain't The Grey Hairs

                                                 


 As I was sitting in the car, waiting on B at the Print Shop today, I noticed a grey hair peeking slightly out of the corner of my scalp. Of course, I intrictly separated the mousy color stands from around it and YANKED it out! ONE. TWO. THREE of them. I know what you are going to say,  I will have twice as many grow back. Well, so be it, next time I'll count to SIX!

 For some reason women have a hard time turning grey. I don't know why, for some people it is there last piece of youth they have, I guess. There is no shame in it. (Unless you are famous and have the tabloids tell the world of your ONE grey hair showing. Stop the press: Katie Holmes is 32 and has a grey hair! Fo real, let the girl grow up.)

She has ONE grey hair showing in this photo . ONE.

 I mean,  I have options here. I could just dye it the color it is destined to be....

                                               I mean, it is the thing to do these days.

  I don't think there would be much of a difference in how people saw me.....

See, it's perfecatly natural on ole Meg, right?

But, for men:
And, I don't know why, but I'll be the FIRST to confess that I think a little pepper looks pretty on a man's head.....

Sorry B.

 Now, while I can whine and cry about a few grey hairs in my head, it made me think about a lot of the issues I have in my life right now. I lost something very special to me a few weeks ago. It made me look over my life and see what I thought was ugly in me. Some things that I have been continually plucking at without facing the truth. I AM GETTING GREY HAIRS, that is the truth. I can pluck them, I can dye them. They are still grey. But, ugly in the heart isn't that easy. 

 I have been plucking and trying to cover up the things in me that were causing me to be a person that I do not like being. I was trying to NOT see the things in me that needed changing, but the grey was already showing. It was there, people were noticing, and it was ugly. 

 One good thing about sitting back and discovering your flaws of the heart is that you can decide if they are something that you want to change and you can decide if you want them to go away. You have that choice. 

 I have some work to do. Bettering yourself is not always easy and, neither is going grey.

But, grey does not make me a bad person. The three grey hairs I pulled from my head do not define who I am. They were surrounded by thousands of others that were the same as I have had all of my life. I was okay with them. They are only a sign of things changing. I can take ownership in them or I can fix them. For some reason, I was letting this flaw in my life define who I was,  I was making it seem like it was the only character trait I had. I hated who I was. I thought that there was no way that anyone could like me because I was so flawed.

 While dyeing your hair is a temporaray fix, trying to cover up things in your life are not. I  have to get help from others. I have to be honest with myself. One great thing that we do have about getting those grey hairs is that most of the time, they come with a little wisdom behind them.

 Wisdom that teaches us to say, okay, it's time to move on. Wisdom that teaches us that we will be okay. Wisdom that teaches us that even though there are a few "grey hairs" in our character, there is a way to change them.

 While your grey hairs are things that can be hid (if a person chooses to), your character is not.

There is some changing about to happen here. And, it ain't the grey hairs.
                                              

Wait Till I Get My Money Right!

     Do The Holidays Have You Feeling A Little Frazzled? 

OVERWHELMED?

LOST?

I UNDERSTAND!

                                                  

 Boy, do I understand! I'm right here with ya! Do not give up hope! You have this under control! I promise! 

 I wanted to start the new year with a goal. A goal that I had not accomplished before and one that could help others as well.  So, I decided that I would try to help others get organized this year while I am working on these same things for my own life. Basically, I'm just going to share them with you! 

 I'm no expert. At anything. I just like to find solutions for problems! 

 When I thought of all of the things that I wanted to work on this year, I always thought of finances first. I know, It's an ugly word. FINANCES. Even uglier... DEBT! Let's just go ahead and face it. Say it out loud! It is not forbidden to talk about. It is REAL! The good thing is, if we have debt, luckily we can fix it. 

  I am going to offer some ideas and links that can possibly help you to organize your Debt and to get the "Financial Freedom That You Deserve"-  Dave Ramsey 

(I just really like saying that phrase! TEE HEE!)

 The first thing we will do is talk about the debt snowball. I'm going to break this down as much as possible. Here are the basics steps. 

                                                                 

EMERGENCY ONLY!

1) Save $1,000- 

This is your EMERGENCY Fund. That means that it is only to be used during emergencies!!!

2) Debt Snowball- PAY OFF ALL DEBT 

List all of your debts and start with the one that you owe the least on. Work until you pay it off. Putting as much extra money on it as you possibly can. Once it is paid, go to the next one on your list.   You will add the money that you were once paying on that debt, to the next one on your list. SNOWBALL!!!!!! (This is where being organized comes in!) I am going to share several links with you to help you with this process. 

Once all debt is paid:

3) Save Three months worth of your income. 

Once that is saved:

4) Invest 

 This is the Dave Ramsey Philosophy. It is possible. People do it everyday!  

 Now, you have to start this process somewhere. And, being organized with it is a must. I'm going to offer you the most simple ways that I could find.

MAKE A LIST OF YOUR DEBTS 

 Here is a sample booklet of a budget format that you can use. There are so many out there but,  I found ones that were simple and cute! Because, I like cute! And, simple. Now, just like anything else, it looks overwhelming at first. Do you remember how it was when you started learning how to ride a bike? Did you jump right on and take off? Probably not. It took focus, practice, and the willingness to fail and get back up. BE A KID AGAIN! HAHA. 

This is the main one I am focusing on.
Oh, and ignore the 2014! 

USE CASH FOR YOUR SPENDING

  After your debt list is made, you are going to allocate the cash that you have left to use for your living expenses. 

  

This is what  Dave calls the "Envelope System"!  An envelope system is designating your CASH that you spend on your everyday items and dividing it into "envelopes". (a.k.a. Groceries $400, Gas $200,  Eating Out $100, Gifts $50) Whatever you spend your money on. Do not lie to yourself. If you eat out, give yourself money for that. Be realistic. Be specific. 

                   

ENVELOPE SYSTEM

 The goal here is to live on less and and to put what you can into your debt. Now,  I do not use an individual envelope like this. I've have tried that. I've tried another wallet (in addition to my regular wallet). I have tried the big thick plastic filing dividers..... If they make it, I HAVE TRIED IT! 

 Here is what I use now! 

                                                                 JEWELL WALLET

This one is not mine! But I adore the green! Here is mine! 

This is my version of my "envelope system".
I searched and searched for something to use WITH my existing wallet.
 A girl only wants one wallet in her bag! Seriously!
These are customizable to your own needs.
WHAT???
I love these! (They were even part of my Christmas gifts!)
You can print your own here
I copied mine onto card stock and then laminated them.
I want them to last! 

You can divide your cash in the front pocket! 

                                                       These are the ones I used before. 

                                                     Can you see how worn out they are? 

                                                               EWWWWWWW!!!!

 Okay, I know what you are thinking. That you aren't spending money, how can you buy a wallet? I'm going to tell you! During this year, I am going to share with you several ways to save money. One of them is going to involve the company I work for. The number one way is to join my company, of course! You can earn extra money by helping to train women to build their own business. The number two way is going to be to join my Hostess of The Month Club. WHY, you ask? HOW will I save money you ask? Let me tell you. The purpose of the HOM Club is to buy the gifts that you already need at a discounted price. You are going to spread out these gifts so that they do not all pop up at once. My company offers sales every month. This "All About The Benjamins Wallet" is on sale for $20 (normally $48) this month with your purchase of a $35 item.  I just saw your hair stand up! You are saving $28 on the regular wallet price. Which means that you are only paying $7 for another gift. Where else can you buy a $35 gift for $7? These deals are each month. I have been a part of a HOM club for three years now. I have used the products to simplify my life, organize my home and for awesome gifts! I  still give gifts. I will always give gifts! Let's be realistic! 

 I will show you my gift list soon.  It is good to have a list.  It is good to know what you need to buy ahead of time so that you aren't spending friviuosly the day before your BFF's birthday!

 Be Intentional!

 Those are my key words this year! Be intentional with your spending, giving, loving, caring, your everything! 

 I hope that these ideas are useful. 

OKAY.....

 I'm going to do this and it's going to be minimal. It's going to be worry free and it's going to lack all of the knowledge of a professional. Do you know why? Because, I am not a professional. At anything. But, what I do have is a ton of passion.


 What  I do love is organizing, list making, bettering myself and helping others. So, with that said, this is what I aim to do:


 My goal is to give myself a direction and to share what I learn with you all. That is all.


 This year I aim to organize my house, work on our budget, de clutter my surroundings and de clutter our life. Of course I will try to do it in an organized and beautiful way! It's just what I like to do.

 So, if you are interested,  get on board and join me!

 I will start the new year talking about FINANCES! I have gathered some great tools and I look forward to sharing them with you all!

 WARNING: If you are looking for fancy, you are in the wrong place. If you are looking for learning and helping one another with prayer and encouragement, you are in the right place! I'm excited about us doing this together.

Happy Holidays!

Love,
Jade

Only Thing Left

   

 When I looked at my hand this morning, I had so many thoughts run through my head.

 I thought of the things that have made me weak as a person. My health, my past, my sins. I thought of how I let those things control me for so many years. Then, I thought about a man. A man who has made me strong. A man who had the courage and wisdom to help me see my strengths.

 I thought of the many people who have abandoned me. I thought of the family who doesn't even acknoweldge me. I thought of how broken that makes me feel. I thought of that man again, the one who makes me feel whole again. Who loves me even when I'm unloveable.

 I thought of the many friends whom I have always looked to for support. The ones I trusted with all of my heart and that are now gone for whatever reason. The thought, again. That man, again. The one that promised to be my best friend forever.

 When I looked at my hand, I knew that God was reminding me that I'll always have someone in my life left to help me, when all of the others have gone.

 He is the one who said "I love you", and meant it.

 The one who said, "To have and to hold from this day forward."

 The one who said, "For richer or poorer."

 The one who said, "Till death do us part."

When I'm alone and I need a friend, or someone to hold my hand,  I am reminded of this man who said, "I do."

The only thing left for me to say is, "Okay, I let you."

"If He Had Lost A Leg"

"If he had lost a leg"

Those words came out of my mouth this week as I was talking about my son Reese.

When he was in his wreck in November a bolt from the steering column came through and punctured a hole in his jeans he was wearing. They had to tear his jeans to untangle the bolt that was poking into his leg.

Not that I would have ever wanted his wreck to be worse. But, sometimes I have to wonder if people would better understand, or if they wouldn't ask "When is he going back to school" or "You let him play in a band????" Those questions are always proceeding by a look of disappointment.

If the teenagers wouldn't roll their eyes or snicker when they listen to him talk about his dreams.

I wonder if any of that would happen if something more obviously physical had occurred to him in that wreck. I know that you can't see the damage with your eyes. But, as a momma of an 18 year old son that has a traumatic brain injury, I do. I see everyday what he deals with. I see that he questions himself. I see when the snide remarks and the eye rolls cut like knives. I see it, because I feel it too.

I see when the depression sets in. I see I do not wish depression on anyone.

What I do wish is that compassion could be taught.

I wish that when you call me (or text) and I tell you "I am sorry but, I'm dealing with something serious in my household right now." That you can find it in yourself to understand that it's not you. Never was. Never has been. It's that my every ounce of energy, thought, heart and soul are consumed right now.

I wish that when I say, "My son is in a band." That you see that he thrives in performing. And, right now thriving in life is what I think he needs. And, I am happy that he can do so.

I wish that when you think he should be in school right now, that you knew that what we wish, was for his focus to feel good about himself. And, we know that school can come later.

I said the statement, "If he had lost a leg," that I think peoples judgements, reactions, and comments would not be as derogatory. But, the realization of that is...... you can't teach compassion. You can't teach selflessness. You can't teach tact.

I have to be reminded that All you can do is care for the family God gave you. If friendships diminish, if eyes are rolled, if words are said that cut like knives, it will be okay.

And, be thankful he didn't lose a leg. Or worse, his life.

love

Don't Bruise My Apples

  The other day I bought a bag of apples at the store. As the cashier placed them with "great force' into the grocery bag, I felt my eyes bug out of my head. Really. The thought crossed my mind, "Does she not know that apples bruise?" I quickly gained a smiling face once I realized I probably had a sour look upon me. I mean, it is just apples. Not the end of the world, Jade. 

 For some reason after we left, I started thinking about that situation again. I started thinking about my Christian family and how sometimes we do things to each other that causes bruises to one another. I try to tell myself that these things are not intentional. That they were just having a bad day or whatever. Sometimes, it may just be that they are going through something themselves.  Who knows. I know I have unintentionally hurt others when I had personal things going on in my life. I just didn't realize it was hurting anyone else.

 When I thought about all of this, I thought about how God must think when we "bruise" his children, our brothers and sisters. I know he is displeased. 

 Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. What a lie that is. Ask that couple that has left the church because of people bashing them. Ask that teenager that does not want to go to Bible class because of all of the kids whispering around them. Ask that woman that does not want to go to lunch with everyone else because "She" will be there. You know, the friend that talked about her behind her back. The one she trusted. 

 Some would say that these people just need a backbone. In some cases you are right. I say we need to stop "bruising" our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Then, they wouldn't have to have a stronger backbone. They would trust more, fellowship more and love one another more. Isn't that what Christians are to do anyway? 

 So the next time the thought crosses your mind to call up "Jane" and tell her everything you know, or you think you know, about 'Sally". Stop. Think. Is this going to benefit or "bruise' my sister in Christ that God has given me to love, respect and protect. 

 Souls are far more important than apples. 

GET REAL! 

 

 

 

The situation

 A few weeks ago, I learned of a situation that has really made me come to grips with some things.

 A friend of mine said something about me, that really just broke my heart.

 Of course my initial reaction was anger, which really just stemmed from being hurt.

 The more I have prayed about it, and the more I have studied about it, I have come to peace with it. Sure, we never want someone to talk behind our backs, especially our friends. As we all know, this unfortunately is going to happen.

 When it does, I have choices I can make. These are the three I chose to write about.

1) Be aggressive and "go after" her. ( Which would only hurt you in the long run.)

2)  Be passive aggressive and talk to EVERYONE else about it but her, bashing her name in the process.  Proverbs 17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

3) Forgive.

 Now, I will say this. Being in a situation like this is very hard for me. These are my friends. These are people that I trust (as much as I can) and these are people that I love.  I hate when things like this happen. I question myself and the person that I am. (I think we all do.) I have to tell myself that I can not control her actions. Only mine.

 I also had to ask myself if what she said was true. To my knowledge it was not. It was an opinion. It did take me a long time to accept that. I do not like people having issues with who I am. As much as I know how imperfect I am, for some reason, I feel like there should not be anyone that sees me that way. Yeah, yeah. Get over yourself!

 For some reason, one little statement can cause us to question our whole self worth. Don't let that happen. If you do have a question of whether or not you are what they say you are, ask an honest friend about your personality. I have a friend I'm going to refer to as "Honest". If you do not want to know about the true YOU, do not ask her. Ha Ha.

 Some people would take offense to her honesty but, I have tried to use it to my advantage of bettering myself. For instance, I asked her once what my flaws were....... she gave me three answers. By the way, I have more than three flaws. She was just being nice!

 One of them was that I stay on my phone too much when I am in the company of others. Truth.  I stay on my phone too much when I'm by myself! (Which was something I always hated when the teenagers were at my house, I used to threaten to take them away, in fact I may have a time or two. Or three!)

 Anyway, I have tried to fix that. Still working on it.

 Point being, It is good to have those kinds of friends!

 Only if you can handle and accept truth! Do not take offense to her answer if you ask your "honest" friend that question though. I mean, you did ask. Use it to better yourself if it is something you feel like would make you a better friend, wife, mom, co-worker, person in general.

 Back to the situation: I'm over it. Done. Over. Gone. Moving On.

 I have been wanting to write about it since I learned of it. I realized my heart was not in the right place at the time to do so.  I know as Christians we struggle sometimes to 'let go" of things. I have learned that over time, holding hurt feelings in our hearts only hurts you. Most of the time, the other person isn't even thinking about you! For some reason, we always think they are. Nope.

 I hope reading this, you will realize that overcoming hurt feelings is a gift to yourself. I like gifts!  It unlocks a sense of freedom that only you hold the key to.

 So what if you were wronged, so what if they are "your friend" and it hurt you.

 Think about your relationship with your husband. Does he love you? Has he ever unintentionally hurt you? In my life the answer to those questions is yes. And, B is my best friend. He has hurt my feelings and it was unintentionally. I know that he loves me with all of his heart and that I am the best thing in his life EVER though! HAHA!

 You have to realize that every relationship will not be perfect and realize that you also have wronged others unintentionally.

 Moral of the story:
1) Forgive
2) Find an "honest" in your life
3) Better yourself
4) Give yourself this gift today

1 Peter 1:3 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins.